Confessions of the “Quality” Obsessed…

It’s been a while since I’ve put out or even recorded a video or a podcast. There’s a lot of different reasons for that . Some of which are more complicated than others. 


If you listened to my podcast interview with Daniel Midson-Short, you may have heard me mention that I picked up a second job. As you can imagine that comes with its fair share of time constraints and scheduling complications. I have less available time to meticulously craft podcast episodes and videos in the way that I once did.


However, that’s only part of the story. It’s not the “whole” truth. Yes, my free time has been dramatically reduced but, another big reason that I haven’t been recording or filming lately is an issue of “mind-set”. I’ve been a bit lost, both creatively and personally. I’m in a weird head-space.


In the past year that I’ve devoted my time, effort, and energy to making videos and recording podcasts I’ve started getting obsessed with things I never cared about. Things that I never gave a shit about became vitally important.


Look, I get that over time it’s not uncommon for our priorities to change, in fact we can expect that they will. There’s nothing wrong with varying the levels of importance that we attach to things. There’s nothing wrong with shifting the hierarchy of what we value. But, sometimes we lose something in the shift. Sometimes in shifting how much we value certain things we inadvertently shift our “values”. We move pillars that should never be out of place, and we compromise the structural integrity of who we are.


I didn’t start making videos because I wanted to be a film maker. I never wanted to be a videographer or a cinematographer. As much as I love the art form, as creatively invigorating as it is to film and edit, it’s not my primary aspiration. It’s not my passion. And yet, I’ve found myself becoming increasingly obsessed with camera angles, camera settings, lenses, aperture, frame rates, lighting, audio, mic placement, B-roll, cinematic sequences, setting, background, etc, etc, etc.  In other words, I’ve become overwhelmingly obsessed with the production, the “quality”.


There’s nothing wrong with all the videographic techniques and cinemagraphic speficities outlined above. I’m glad I took the time to learn to do them. But, the simple fact remains I didn’t start doing this for any of that.
I’ve also been unhealthily obsessed with “the numbers”; the subscriber count, the views, the listens, the plays, the likes, the shares, the comments, and the things. We all know the numbers shouldn’t matter. We’ve all either said ourselves or heard other creatives say “don’t create for the numbers”, “the numbers don’t matter” but, saying it and believing it are two different things. Implicitly, in the back of nearly every creators mind, the numbers matter. A lot of us, especially me, will attach our value as a creator, the value of what we create to those numbers. We will interpret those numbers as a numeric representation of how much our work matters, and we start judging the quality of our work based on those numbers. At least, that’s what’s happened for me.


One of my guilty pleasures is Gary Vaynerchuck. Love him or hate him, his energy is intoxicating and his enthusiasm is infectious. I don’t agree with everything he says, but I’ve garnered some valuable and beneficial information from his work.


One of the things I’ve disagreed with about most adamantly is the idea that quantity is more important than quality, because he says that quality is subjective. I think there’s some truth to that. After all art is subjective, we each decide in our own way what we define as art. As much merit as I see in that point I haven’t been able to make the leap to this quantity over quality position.


Interestingly enough, a few months ago Gary Vaynerchuck was interviewed by Matt D’Avella. I think it’s fair to say that D’Avella has a stance on the quality vs. quantity question that it is seemingly antithetical to Vaynerchuck’s. He believes it’s better to put one really high quality video every week than to put out 7 “ok”  or mediocre videos. He favors quality over quantity. For the past year that’s the way I’ve been leaning as well.
When it comes to quantity vs. quality it’s not as simple as an “either/or” question. If art is subjective, if quality is itself subjective, then I think it’s also safe to say that the way in which one chooses to answer or approach this question is also subjective. I think it comes down to self-awareness and consistency.


If the precision and production level of the craft, is your driving factor, and you can be consistent in putting out that work then, I think that’s working just fine for you. In other words, if you’re more motivated to put out one high quality piece of work every week and you can continuously come through on creating and delivering that piece of work week in and week out then, you’ve already won.


But…that’s not what I’ve been doing. I’ve been operating under the auspices of pursuing this “quality” model but, I’ve been anything but consistent. In most cases, I don’t even attempt to film or record when my conditions or circumstances don’t allow for attaining the level of “quality” I feel is “necessary”. In other words, if I don’t feel I have the time or space to get close to perfection then I don’t even try to do anything at all. 


My obsession with “quality” has become counterproductive. “Quality” has become my excuse not to create. “Perfectionism” has become procrastination. Adam Savage says that “procrastination, perfectionism, and analysis paralysis…are the bane of a Maker’s existence”. I can personally and avidly attest to the truth of that statement.


I think I lost my connection to an even more important question, “why did I start?” “What did I start doing this for?” It’s so easy to get lost in the minutia of techniques and all the things that touch the thing you’re doing but, what’s the core of what you’re doing? What’s the heart beat of why you do what you do? If you lose touch with the thing that made you want to start doing what you’re doing then you’ve lost the whole drive, you’ve lost the whole aspiration, the whole motivation, the whole operative significance of the thing.


And that’s where I find myself. I’ve let all the things that touch my work influence my process more than than the central thesis of the work.
So, if I didn’t start any of this to be a film maker, an audio guru, a YouTuber extraordinaire, if I had no interest in becoming a cinematographer or a videographer, why did I start doing all this for? I started doing this because there where things that I wanted to talk about that I wasn’t getting to talk about. There were conversations that I wanted to have that I wasn’t getting to have, and I needed to have, and I still needed to have them. I’ve lost sight of that in the process of just trying to make the shit.


I started doing this because I’m in love with ideas. I’m in love with the kind of ideas that James Victore might call “Dangerous Ideas”. Oscar Wilde said that ” An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all”. That is my core. It’s gotten buried in the process but, its still there, and I’m trying to find my way back to it.


How do I get back? I don’t know. I don’t have it all figured out yet. But, this is an attempt to get back to the dangerous ideas, and maybe that’s a dangerous idea in itself. I hope that it is. I don’t know what comes next, but i never have. All I can tell you is that I’m still in the process. If you’re still here then, we’re in the process together. 


Keep showing up, Keep doing the work, FAIL BOLDLY, and let’s make something meaningful.


Shout out to my Patrons and Supporters:
Jim Martin – https://theunusualbuddha.com/
Ben Bridges – https://www.myfpvstore.com/
Rev. Jerry Maynard – https://www.facebook.com/revjerryhtx/?epa=SEARCH_BOX
Jerome Shaw – https://anchor.fm/jshaw
Rajan Shankara – https://rajanshankara.com/


If you want shout outs in podcasts and videos, if you want access to all my behind-the-scenes, patron only content, if you want early access to all my videos, and if you want to be a part of a community of creativity and curiosity, the check out my Patreon page – https://www.patreon.com/duanetoops

Putting the “Grit” in “InteGRITy”…

My favorite part about having guests on my podcast is that there is little to no “structure” to the conversation. I have a propensity for over thinking, over analyzing, and over planning but, not when it comes to the dialogue that takes place in the context of a podcast interview. I have no notes, no talking points, no topics, no previously determined questions. The conversation is a blank canvas that the guest and I begin to fill together, as we go. I try to let the structure of the conversation, the structure of the interview reveal itself to me because I think that begins to reveal the authentic structure of who each of us are.


I never know what’s going to come up in the course of the conversation. We simply dig until we find something extraordinary.


When I interviewed my friend Daniel Midson-Short, who is a writer, speaker, and digital marketer, the conversation could have went anywhere. It could have revealed any number of things but, one of the most interesting things that came up was “integrity”. (You can listen to the episode here and you can find the full video here).


I’ve talked a lot about transparency and authenticity with past guests but, this is the first time “integrity” has come up. Already, this reveals something incisive about Daniel.


He mentions the word “integrity” several times through different topics as we talk. When I asked him zero in on the subject of integrity specifically he said that “Integrity is the structure of who you are” .


It’s interesting that “integrity” is also something that is ultimately revealed rather than created. Our integrity, or lack there of, is something that becomes apparent through the deliberateness of our intentions, the consistency of our behavior, and the congruence of our actions.


Maybe you could say that the structural integrity of who you are is built upon your underlying agenda, you ability to be consistent and congruent.


If what we build is in-congruent with our intentions, if our intentions are in-congruent with what we are building, if we are inconsistent, what we build will not stand, it will not be structurally sound.


If that’s the case then the integrity of the structure we build is determined long before we ever begin building anything.


And what we build will begin to reveal our underlying intentions, without us ever saying a word…


If you’d like to check out the portion of the conservation in which we talk about “Integrity” you can find it below:

New Video!”The Child Who Survived Adulthood” w/ Jerome Shaw

This is a special episode/video for me because not only is Jerome Shaw a talented creator and an inspiring podcaster but, he’s also one of my Patrons. His support and his encouragement means the world to me, so I’m excited to share this conversation with you!

We talk about his theater arts background, his metamorphosis into a marketing Entrepeneur, and his creative journey into podcasting. He offers details about his meditation practice and gives us a glimpse into his creative process. This dialogue takes a lot interesting twists and turns, and ultimately I think its a beautiful adventure. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

If you want to listen to the full podcast you can find it here:

Be sure to check out Jerome’s podcast – https://anchor.fm/jshaw

And be sure to connect with him on Social Media:

https://twitter.com/jromeshaw

https://www.facebook.com/jerome.shaw.9

https://www.instagram.com/jromeshaw/

https://www.youtube.com/user/Peralisis/videos

Shout out to my Patrons and Supporters:

Jim Martin – https://theunusualbuddha.com/

Rev. Jerry Maynard – https://www.facebook.com/revjerryhtx/

Ben Bridges – https://www.myfpvstore.com/

Rajan Shankara – https://rajanshankara.com/

If you’d like to get a shout out in podcasts and videos then be sure to check out my Patreon page – https://www.patreon.com/duanetoops

For $3/month you get all the behind the scenes blogs, videos, and photos, plus shout-outs, plus early access to all my YouTube videos!

Keep showing up, Keep Doing the Work, FAIL BOLDLY, and let’s make something meaningful

New Video! “Is it True? W/ Rajan Shankara”

Recently, I had the good fortune of interviewing Rajan Shankara for an episode of the podcast. you can listen to the full episode below.

Today I released the video of our conversation:\

Rajan is a former Hindu monk who lived the monastic life for 12 years. Almost a year ago he left the monastery and returned to the world. He’s now a personal trainer, a meditation teacher, and a life consultant.

He and I began chatting near the end of year after we had both been guests on the Project Mindfulness podcast. You can find Rajan’s episode here: https://projectmindfulness.com/podcast/audiobiography-of-a-yogi/

And mine here: https://projectmindfulness.com/podcast/episode-7-facing-the-reflection-in-the-mirror-with-duane-toops/

We wanted to collaborate together in some way but, we just weren’t sure how. Since our initial contact I started my podcast and the time was finally right for us have a recorded conversation.

Rajan was an absolute pleasure to speak with. We talk about what pushed him into the process of taking up a spiritual path. We discuss his time spent as a monk, and what inspired him to leave monastic life. We compare notes between Zen and Hinduism, and we even touch on some big topics like ‘Enlightenment’. We had a great time and I really hope you enjoy it!

Be sure to connect with Rajan on Social Media:

Facebook Business – https://www.facebook.com/Rajanshankaraofficial/

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/rajan.shankara.5

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/rajanshankaraofficial/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/rajan_shankara

Shout out to my Patrons and Supporters:

Jim Martin – https://theunusualbuddha.com/

Ben Bridges – https://www.myfpvstore.com/

Jerome Shaw – https://anchor.fm/jshaw

Jerry Maynard – https://www.facebook.com/revjerryhtx/

Rajan Shankara – https://rajanshankara.com/

If you want shout-outs in podcasts and videos, if you want to get early access to videos, and if you’d like exclusive access to Patron only content, then check out my Patreon Page. For $3/month you get it all!

Be sure to check out my Website to stay up to date with what I’m up to, and feel free to hit me up on Social media – links below.

YouTube – www.youtube.com/duanetoops
Twitter – https://twitter.com/duanetoops
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/duanetoops/
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/duanejtoops/

Keep showing up, keep doing the work, FAIL BOLDLY, and let’s make something meaningful.

New Video – “Lessons of Liberation W/ Rev. Jerry Maynard”

I sat down with Rev. Jerry Maynard. Rev. Jerry is a Priest, activist, and Interfaith Minister. He works within the Int’l Church of Mary Magdalene, which is a ministry of the Independent & Progressive Catholic Religious Order, Order of Mary Magdalene. He is also the founding pastor of The People’s Church.

In this conversation we talk about theology, atheism, activism, “liberation”, and so much more. I think you’re going to love it!

If you want to connect with Rev. Jerry you can find his social links below:

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/revjerryhtx/

Twitter – https://twitter.com/revjerryhtx

The People’s Church on Twitter – https://twitter.com/ThePplsChurch

Shout out to my Patrons and supporters Jim Martin from The Unusual Buddha ( https://theunusualbuddha.com/ ), Ben Bridges, and Jerome Shaw from The Open Palm Podcast ( https://anchor.fm/jshaw )

If you want shout-outs in podcasts and videos, early access to YouTube videos, and access to Behind-the-scenes Patron only videos, blogs, and photos, then check out my Patreon page. For $3/month you get it all! – www.patreon.com/duanetoops

And be sure to connect with my at the social links below:

YouTube – https://youtube.com/duanetoops
Twitter – https://twitter.com/duanetoops
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/duanetoops/
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/duanejtoops/

Keep showing up, Keep doing the work, FAIL BOLDLY, and let’s make something meaningful.

“Concentrated Curiosity W/ Jack Stolz”

A few weeks ago I got to do an interview with YouTuber extraordinaire Jack Stolz. I’ve written about it here and here.

Podcast episode below:

Jack is a musician, a vlogger, photographer, cinematographer, and all around awesome guy!

Jack has played a big part in my process of dipping my toes into videography and YouTube. As a result, Jack has become a good friend and he continues to inspire me.

Whether he realizes it or not, Jack has been with me throughout most of this endeavor, in one form or another. He’s been a big encouragement. He has continually made himself available to talk shop, to provide helpful tips and advice, and to give feedback.

It probably goes without saying it was great to spend some extra time talking with him. It was an even greater pleasure to do it for the podcast!

If you want to check him out, here’s all the places you can find him:
Instagram
Twitter
YouTube

If you want to support this work of learning out loud, if you ‘d like to help create a community of curiosity, and if you’d like to get access to exclusive, behind-the-scenes, Patron only content, and get shout-outs in videos and podcasts, then check out my Patreon page.

Keep showing up, Keep doing the work, FAIL BOLDLY, and let’s make something meaningful!

New YouTube Video! “Just For Fun”

I posted a brand New YouTube video today!

I’m definitely guilty of being too serious, especially when it comes to what I make and create.

With that being said, I think I’ve been to much pressure on myself and what I do. So, this video is my attempt at trying to do some things just for fun.

I reference an interview I did with Jim Martin from The Unusual Buddha. The full podcast episode is below:

If you’d prefer to watch the video of the full length interview, you can find it below and here:

If you want to check out Jim Martin and his work with The Unusual Buddha see the links below:


FB – https://www.facebook.com/theunusualbuddha/
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/theunusualbuddha/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/notthebuddha

Shout to my Patrons and Contributors Jim Martin and Ben Bridges

If you want to get shout-outs in podcasts and videos, if you want to help support this work of learning out loud, and if you’d like to help create a community of curiosity, then check out my Patreon Page.

Keep showing up, Keep doing the work, FAIL BOLDLY, and let’s make something Meaningful!